On The Road
It's a jungle out there. And on Koh Chang it's even worse on the road. Here we introduce you to some of the road users to be aware and beware of on the island. It's light hearted but in all seriousness be careful on the island's roads, scores of people are killed every year. Just because you can get away with drink driving and not wearing a motorbike helmet doesn't mean you should.
Minibuses
On Koh Chang minibuses hunt in packs of six or more. They move in a complex wave pattern so that the last in any group of minibuses is perpetually in the process of overtaking all the others. This pattern is repeated constantly until they reach their destination. As you might imagine the drivers become extremely annoyed if their synchronised display is disturbed by the inconvenience of other road users so you are better off trying to avoid using their road at all ever.
Motorbikes
People who can't swim rarely dive headlong into the deep end of their hotel pool. Why then do people who don't regularly ride motorbikes hire a battered old machine on Koh Chang and hurl themselves, often literally, onto Koh Chang's roads. Surely a set of photos and a tan are a better way to remember your holiday than a scar.
Taxis
Koh Chang's easily recogniseable white taxis are the Jeckyl and Hyde of island transport. They drift glacially through the tourist centres kerb-crawling for customers until they reach the open road. Here they shift rapidly to warp 10 and show by deed rather than by word their contempt for the concept of driving on a particular side of the road.
SUV's
Learn to recognise Bangkok number plates. If you see a SUV with Bangkok plates then handle with extreme care. Most of these vehicles are hardy 4WD beasts built to handle well in all kinds of trying conditions. However, if they come from Bangkok then their drivers have probably never even driven up a hill, never mind entering the Paris-Dakkar rally. You can regularly watch them sliding back down hills under the mysterious influence of Newtonian laws of physics. Just make sure you don't get too close.
Trucks
Sand on beach good, sand on road bad. Trucks are an everyday feature of the perpetual building project that is Koh Chang. They crawl up the island's steep hills, often shedding their contents on the way, and then barrel down the other side. They like to travel two abreast, largely because they can, 'survival of the biggest' is the rule of the road in Thailand.
Kids on Bikes
You will see plenty of 14 year old Thai kids flying down the island's road at 120 Kilometres an hour. You are unlikely to see any sixty year old Thais driving at the same breakneck pace. The reason for this is simple. Natural Selection.
Pedestrians
A black and white crossing marker on the road does not oblige drivers to stop and let pedestrians cross here as it does in some parts of the world. It is merely a suggestion of a crossing place that offers you a marginally lower chance of being mown down.
The extreme danger of the road doesn't seem to stop pedestrians stopping in the middle of the road transfixed by a stunning "I love Koh Chang" T-Shirt in a nearby shop. Assume that anyone at the side of the road is probably about to wander obliciously into the road right in front of you. They rarely disappoint.
Bicycles
If everyone in the world rode a bicycle there would be world peace, no starvation and everyone would be happy for ever and ever. Until such a time if you see a cyclist whilst on Koh Chang please treat them with great care and consideration - it might be me.
Signals
In Europe if a driver flashes their headlight at you it generally means, "I have seen you, please go ahead". Here in Koh Chang when a driver flashes his lights at you he means, "Move or die. You've seen my lights so I have given you fair warning". Evasive action is recommended.
Indicators are untrustworthy at best in Koh Chang. Tourists often drive around all day on hired motorbikes with indicators gaily flashing away. Most people don't use them at all expecting the psychic bond shared by all road users to give other drivers a clue as to their intentions. Conversely if you are brave enough to indicate right and move to the centre of the road to turn look in your mirror and wave as all of the drivers behind you whistle past on the wrong side of the road, then turn.
A final word of warning on road repairs. Lights and road signs are rare so you are likely to find out about approaching road work by climbing back out of it.
